Choices

As a solo-preneur, there are times when hard choices must be made. For the past year, as I dealt with loss of loved ones, I decided to pull back from writing and concentrate my time and energy on my clients. The death of my ex-husband and business partner, father of my son, resulted in a very complicated estate. Due to mental illness and hoarding on his part, cleaning up and disposing of his material world became another “job”- complex, emotional and exhausting. As I plodded through it all on almost a daily basis, I needed to look for the gift in it all. That first required that I separate the mess from the man. The grieving became two-fold: the loss of his presence in my life and the loss of what might have been. Mental illness robs its victim of peace. It has far-reaching consequences for those who choose to stand by. Although separated, I chose to be there both in his life and in his death. In the gradual separating of him from the consequences of his illness, I finally reached the fullness of acceptance. I had harboured resentment and sometimes anger for the many ways he had complicated our lives for so many years. In choosing acceptance, I was then able to forgive him and, more importantly, myself. I smile now at all we shared that was positive. We had built a successful business, a family and a life. As his illness progressed he was living more in the past and we would often laugh about the many adventures we had shared in business and, the wonderful people we met. Brian remains in my heart. In my vision he is strong and healthy and smiling. He championed my journey into Life Coaching and he is still encouraging me with each new day.

Courage vs Complacency

Look around you. Complacency is everywhere in our society. We tend to look to the news headlines for the courageous, the heroes.

Complacency breeds upon itself and spreads insidiously through all areas of our lives as we unwittingly give up our power and our will to create excellence.

Good enough or that will do becomes the standard of the day.

Why should you care? No one else does.

Complacency is a deadly disease. It steals your energy, your joy and your aliveness. It kills companies. It destroys economies. It diminishes and destroys your relationships with your partner, children, friends and colleagues.

Complacency fosters the acceptance of negativity, violence, self-centeredness, isolation and substandard quality in all things. It has crept silently into our education systems with the “dumbing down” of standards and the “numbing down” of mind and spirit.

So, who are the courageous, the real heroes?

The most courageous amongst us are those who commit to discovering who they really are and seek the best in themselves. They are the individuals who are committed to learning and changing the beliefs and habits and thoughts that are holding them back from fulfilling their dreams. They are willing to fight complacency.

Change is the hardest thing that any of us can do. It requires that we face our fears, our limitations and take responsibility for our decisions and our mistakes. It means letting go of blaming and making assumptions.

How do you overcome complacency?

Napoleon Hill says: Control Your Own Thoughts.

Focus on the thoughts that feel natural to you: positive, intentional thoughts that move you forward towards your goals and feel congruent with your values. When things don’t quite work out, don’t bring out the WHY hammer and beat yourself or someone else. Learn, change and continue forward.

Courage brings you freedom.

“Only those who risk going far can possibly find out how far one can go.”
(T.S. Eliot 1888-1965)