Recently, on a Sunday, a client called. She blurted out that she had experienced a major breakthrough. And, it was a result of my telling her to ‘Shut up”!
Whaaat? I couldn’t have said that to a client! My mind scrambled to remember.
Ahhh, now I get it. I had suggested to her that she step back from her situation and observe; that she remain silent and allow herself to hear.
She had been verbally ‘reacting” to this other person based on her past experience. The knee-jerk response. Making assumptions. The ‘stories’ she clung to and dragged forward into the present were controlling her mind and emotions. She was, like most of us, projecting onto another what had hurt her in the past...her wounds.
For her, the new perspective was life altering.
What's interesting is that often. in the coaching process, the client will receive the message that they most need to hear.
Shut up. Perhaps we all are doing too much talking and not enough listening.
What about you?
Live the real you…. mindfully.
Sharon
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
What About Happiness?
For 20 years I had the privilege of being a patient of family practitioner Dr. Duncan Hadley. In 1998 he died tragically in an accident at the age of 49.
Shortly before he died he asked me how I had managed to survive and conquer so much adversity in my life. He was surveying his patients in an attempt to understand why some fall and others grow stronger.
I replied that I must remain strong for my son: set an example. He then asked, “What about happiness?”
I paused to ponder. I then answered “Happiness is in the moment….bits and pieces. It is there; it is everywhere; it is who I am.” He frowned as he tried to absorb this.
As he went to the door, he turned and said: “You are a very strong woman.”
And then, in an instant, he was gone.
The devastation to the community was beyond description. No room in the church for all who mourned the loss of a great man, a warrior.
His spirit lives on and I still feel the loss. He lifts me up still. He was a gift to all who knew him and to his beautiful wife and three daughters.
Is life fair? Absolutely not! But, this is the only life we have.
Duncan Hadley made it matter.
Live the real you, NOW
Sharon
Shortly before he died he asked me how I had managed to survive and conquer so much adversity in my life. He was surveying his patients in an attempt to understand why some fall and others grow stronger.
I replied that I must remain strong for my son: set an example. He then asked, “What about happiness?”
I paused to ponder. I then answered “Happiness is in the moment….bits and pieces. It is there; it is everywhere; it is who I am.” He frowned as he tried to absorb this.
As he went to the door, he turned and said: “You are a very strong woman.”
And then, in an instant, he was gone.
The devastation to the community was beyond description. No room in the church for all who mourned the loss of a great man, a warrior.
His spirit lives on and I still feel the loss. He lifts me up still. He was a gift to all who knew him and to his beautiful wife and three daughters.
Is life fair? Absolutely not! But, this is the only life we have.
Duncan Hadley made it matter.
Live the real you, NOW
Sharon
Thursday, September 10, 2009
On Becoming Authentic
I was de-cluttering my office and sorting old files when I came upon this poem. It was sent to me by a friend back in 2001. When she wrote it, she was working on her Masters degree in Education and one of her courses was about being your authentic self. Since my tag-line is Live the Real You, I was struck by the significance and depth of this little poem.
On Becoming Authentic
We search for a lifetime
For what we
Lost at the beginning---
Our real self.
Left is a void
Anxious,turbulent
Vacant at times
And yet unyielding.
A constant search
To find the scattered pieces
And put them together
Into our original
True essence.
The journey back and forth at the same time
Requires committed
Vigilance
To integrate all our parts
Face our fears
And learn to love what
We lost in the beginning.
JMD
On Becoming Authentic
We search for a lifetime
For what we
Lost at the beginning---
Our real self.
Left is a void
Anxious,turbulent
Vacant at times
And yet unyielding.
A constant search
To find the scattered pieces
And put them together
Into our original
True essence.
The journey back and forth at the same time
Requires committed
Vigilance
To integrate all our parts
Face our fears
And learn to love what
We lost in the beginning.
JMD
Monday, September 7, 2009
THE CAR BUTLER
I am excited to say that I now have a butler- a car butler, that is – and I am willing to share! Derek Killam has hit upon a brilliant business idea and he is selling peace-of-mind. Who wouldn’t want some of that?
My car recently failed the MVI and I was informed that the cost to bring it up to snuff was going to be at least $1700. It was then I first decided to call Derek. What could I lose? He came quickly, took off with my car and had a couple of other experts look at it, suggest alternative solutions and provide estimates. The outcome was a saving of $1400. Now, that is not to say that he will always have that kind of result, but he will do whatever is needed to ensure that all of the options have been explored and you have an honest result. And, if it is a part you need, he will source the parts, take your car for the repair and get it back to you.
Now, in my case, he returned for my car when the part came in, had the work done and got the inspection sticker put on. This saved me hours of lost time. I was able to continue working and to feel confident that my car was in good hands.
Derek was a service manager for 12 years and now he brings the service desk to your door. Wow! This is creativity at its best!
Derek can be reached on his cell at 506.260.6271 or you can email him at DerekKillam@rogers.com.
A peaceful solution for very busy people
Love and Peace
Sharon
My car recently failed the MVI and I was informed that the cost to bring it up to snuff was going to be at least $1700. It was then I first decided to call Derek. What could I lose? He came quickly, took off with my car and had a couple of other experts look at it, suggest alternative solutions and provide estimates. The outcome was a saving of $1400. Now, that is not to say that he will always have that kind of result, but he will do whatever is needed to ensure that all of the options have been explored and you have an honest result. And, if it is a part you need, he will source the parts, take your car for the repair and get it back to you.
Now, in my case, he returned for my car when the part came in, had the work done and got the inspection sticker put on. This saved me hours of lost time. I was able to continue working and to feel confident that my car was in good hands.
Derek was a service manager for 12 years and now he brings the service desk to your door. Wow! This is creativity at its best!
Derek can be reached on his cell at 506.260.6271 or you can email him at DerekKillam@rogers.com.
A peaceful solution for very busy people
Love and Peace
Sharon
Thursday, September 3, 2009
MARY KAY ASH: More Than a Pink Cadillac (by Jim Underwood)
Jim Underwood, Ph.D., is an award winning author, business professor and strategy and leadership consultant. More Than a Pink Cadillac: Mary Kay Inc.’s 9 Leadership Keys to Success is an important book for all entrepreneurs, large and small. Even since Mary Kay’s death in 2001 her company remains one of the best run and most successful companies in the world. Her business philosophy and strategies have been taught at the prestigious Harvard School of Business.
I joined the company as a consultant in 2000 during a period of recuperation from illness that had taken me from my usual entrepreneurial pursuits. Although Mary Kay was no longer personally attending the Seminars, her presence was and always will be powerful. She began her business from her kitchen table with a passionate dream of making life better for the women in her community. She had $5000. The odds were overwhelmingly stacked against her. Mary Kay Inc. is now a debt-free, multi-billion dollar company in over 30 countries with a sales force of 1.7 million.
For myself, I felt privileged and proud to be on the “team”. It gave me a different perspective on business from where I had been. It showed me that a principle-based business can achieve phenomenal success without ever compromising the values and the mission. Often mistaken for a MLM, this company is, in fact, a solid direct-sales business where all consultants receive equal opportunity and some of the best commissions and incentives of any company in the world. Mary Kay was posthumously named the Most Successful Woman Entrepreneur of the 20th century.
Here are her 9 Leadership Keys to Success (from the book):
Create and Maintain a Common Bond
Create the Future: Think and Act Strategically
Make Me Feel Important
Motivate Others with Recognition and Celebration
Never Leave Your Values
Innovate or Evaporate
God, Family, Career: Foster Balance
Have a Higher Purpose
OK Never Does It: You’ve Got to Be Great!
The Six Virtues of a Great Leader
Humility
Seeking the Best for Others
Expect Excellence
Integrity
Be Impatient with the Status Quo
An Indomitable Spirit
Mary Kay’s guiding philosophy was the Golden Rule. And, P & L stands for more than Profit and Loss. It stands for people and love.
“Your career will blossom with the amount of care and love you send into the lives of others.” Mary Kay Ash
This is a book worth reading whether you are an aspiring entrepreneur, a seasoned entrepreneur and simply one who wishes to become a great leader in all areas of your life.
Love & Peace
Sharon
I joined the company as a consultant in 2000 during a period of recuperation from illness that had taken me from my usual entrepreneurial pursuits. Although Mary Kay was no longer personally attending the Seminars, her presence was and always will be powerful. She began her business from her kitchen table with a passionate dream of making life better for the women in her community. She had $5000. The odds were overwhelmingly stacked against her. Mary Kay Inc. is now a debt-free, multi-billion dollar company in over 30 countries with a sales force of 1.7 million.
For myself, I felt privileged and proud to be on the “team”. It gave me a different perspective on business from where I had been. It showed me that a principle-based business can achieve phenomenal success without ever compromising the values and the mission. Often mistaken for a MLM, this company is, in fact, a solid direct-sales business where all consultants receive equal opportunity and some of the best commissions and incentives of any company in the world. Mary Kay was posthumously named the Most Successful Woman Entrepreneur of the 20th century.
Here are her 9 Leadership Keys to Success (from the book):
Create and Maintain a Common Bond
Create the Future: Think and Act Strategically
Make Me Feel Important
Motivate Others with Recognition and Celebration
Never Leave Your Values
Innovate or Evaporate
God, Family, Career: Foster Balance
Have a Higher Purpose
OK Never Does It: You’ve Got to Be Great!
The Six Virtues of a Great Leader
Humility
Seeking the Best for Others
Expect Excellence
Integrity
Be Impatient with the Status Quo
An Indomitable Spirit
Mary Kay’s guiding philosophy was the Golden Rule. And, P & L stands for more than Profit and Loss. It stands for people and love.
“Your career will blossom with the amount of care and love you send into the lives of others.” Mary Kay Ash
This is a book worth reading whether you are an aspiring entrepreneur, a seasoned entrepreneur and simply one who wishes to become a great leader in all areas of your life.
Love & Peace
Sharon
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